Oct 13, 2010

Brilliant Lawyer's Questions and Arguments

Things people have actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.





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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.






HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~   oh jangan marah pada lawyer² sekalian...bukan semua lawyer yang dungu macam ni...mungkin yang terlalu ikut buku so dia tak boleh nak elaborate soalan mengikut keadaan...?? kekekeke~

peace peace!  v(^_^)



16 comments:

nabilah_2908 said...

pasti ke itu benar2 lawyer yg bertauliah..ada cop sah sirim...?? hehehe...

tah-tah terlepas dr wad sakit jiwa...menyamar jadi peguam..hehehe..sakit hati jer dgn soalan2 dia... ;)

jom ke APA KATA HATI pulak,
CERMIN KU RETAK SERIBU

Along Tapa said...

kesila[an cenggitu biasa..konon2 nak keterangan detail...padahal ko faham-faham jek la..

Gorengbaek - Aku rasa sangat...

ribena.illina said...

tak nak arhhhhhhhhhhhhh lawyer gini. dan tak nak gak lah kawen ngn loyer. nti kalo dpt loyer cm cte ni. mau gile ngn zra2. HAHAHAHA

y@n@ M!B said...

:nabilah_2908:
haha xtau lah kn..dh mcm robot je cr dia bertanya..hihi~

y@n@ M!B said...

:Along Tapa:
mcm terlalu detail pehtu x relevan..haha..xtau la klu maksud dia nk perli saksi ke hape =p

y@n@ M!B said...

:ribena.illina:
kwn ngan lawyer oke pe..ilmu dia byk sbb dorg byk wat research..tp jgn la amek yg loyar bughok..lotihhh nk lyn..ngee~

Fitrah Adnan said...

tu lawyer ke loyar???..konpius2...ish3..hehehe

d_tieah said...

Loyar buruk nm nye..
Huhu..

Mr Noble said...

lawyer buruk sungguh! haha!

Un Phat Lee said...

kadang2 lawyer ni saje je en nak provoke orang.

y@n@ M!B said...

:Fitrah Adnan :
dua² pon ye =p

y@n@ M!B said...

:d_tieah:
tau xpe =p

y@n@ M!B said...

:Mr Noble:
hehe~

y@n@ M!B said...

:Un Phat Lee:
btol..mmg menyakitkn ati saksi..ish ish ish -__-'

AyuZ DeathWisH said...

tetibe aku tak reti membaca~
miahahahahaa~

dotblogspotdotkom said...

nasib baik le aku tak jadi loyer.... huhuhu

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