Oct 13, 2010

Brilliant Lawyer's Questions and Arguments

Things people have actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~   oh jangan marah pada lawyer² sekalian...bukan semua lawyer yang dungu macam ni...mungkin yang terlalu ikut buku so dia tak boleh nak elaborate soalan mengikut keadaan...?? kekekeke~

peace peace!  v(^_^)


nabilah_2908 said...

pasti ke itu benar2 lawyer yg bertauliah..ada cop sah sirim...?? hehehe...

tah-tah terlepas dr wad sakit jiwa...menyamar jadi peguam..hehehe..sakit hati jer dgn soalan2 dia... ;)

jom ke APA KATA HATI pulak,

Along Tapa said...

kesila[an cenggitu biasa..konon2 nak keterangan detail...padahal ko faham-faham jek la..

Gorengbaek - Aku rasa sangat...

BENA said...

tak nak arhhhhhhhhhhhhh lawyer gini. dan tak nak gak lah kawen ngn loyer. nti kalo dpt loyer cm cte ni. mau gile ngn zra2. HAHAHAHA

yanamib said...

haha xtau lah kn..dh mcm robot je cr dia bertanya..hihi~

yanamib said...

:Along Tapa:
mcm terlalu detail pehtu x relevan..haha..xtau la klu maksud dia nk perli saksi ke hape =p

yanamib said...

kwn ngan lawyer oke pe..ilmu dia byk sbb dorg byk wat research..tp jgn la amek yg loyar bughok..lotihhh nk lyn..ngee~

Fitrah Adnan said...

tu lawyer ke loyar???..konpius2...ish3..hehehe

Tieah Madian said...

Loyar buruk nm nye..

mrnoble said...

lawyer buruk sungguh! haha!

Un Phat Lee said...

kadang2 lawyer ni saje je en nak provoke orang.

yanamib said...

:Fitrah Adnan :
dua² pon ye =p

yanamib said...

tau xpe =p

yanamib said...

:Mr Noble:

yanamib said...

:Un Phat Lee:
btol..mmg menyakitkn ati saksi..ish ish ish -__-'

Anonymous said...

tetibe aku tak reti membaca~

d0tbl0gsp0td0tk0m said...

nasib baik le aku tak jadi loyer.... huhuhu

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